Well hoo bloody ray. I have finally stumbled on the ‘New Post’ page, after the customary blind stumble around the site – lasting over an hour – only to see three headings:

‘Updating failed. You are probably offline.’ I’m not; my email uploads instantly.

‘The backup of this post in your browser is different from the version below.’ Well whoopee doo what the blazes does that mean and why have you done it?

‘Restore the Backup’ (This last in a square frame.) Well I rather think not.

So now, after another wasted hour, to my subject.

I have been considering a few contributions that I have read about climate change and was struck by the following reasoning:

It was claimed that methane farted by cows was a major factor in the increase in mean temperatures. Let’s accept that for now.

I draw the following conclusions:

We do know that Dinosaurs were present and thriving on the Australian continent at a time when temperatures were much higher than they are today – or so we are authoritatively told. And then for some reason they ceased to exist. Why?

It seems reasonable to suppose that the high temperatures were a function of all those dinosaurs farting. And presumably they bred and farted until the temperature became too great for their continued existence. So they all died. After which the excess methane dispersed gradually and eventually the climate became as we know it today.

That’s only a guess of course but it has as much substance as most of the claims made by the clamorous true believers in the new climate religion. Fascinating how they hang onto their wonky beliefs despite the complete failure of their domesday predictions to come true.

And the shrieks of ‘Denier’ (‘Unbeliever’/’Heretic’/insert favourite denigration) serve to unite them in their delusion and protect them from cold reality.

My own life expectancy, even at its most optimistic, is such that I will die long before any significant climate change could occur – although there will probably be a few of the usual climatic disasters – hurricanes, tsunamis, sinkholes, wildfires, earth tremors – that I hope to avoid before then. But it would be a pity if these silly little buggers were allowed to force their crackbrained notions on the rest of the world, with who knows what disastrous effects.

You, dear reader, are almost certainly younger than I. I strongly suggest that you do your utmost to disabuse the world of this hysterical race into pseudo (that’s a posh word for fake, dear) science. Otherwise you may find that living with human induced climate interference is not at all what its advocates promise.

Incidentally, ABC TV recently told us that Adelaide will experience severe water shortages this summer. But have no fear! ‘The distillation plant will produce (some mind boggling number of litres of) fresh water’. Who knew that distillation plants actually produced water!

Go on – think about it.